Belated updates

So hey everyone hadn't made a blog post in a while so just thought i would update everyone on my progress so far.

So i've had my 1st appointment with the Gender Clinic here. and if im being honest i feel mixed about it.
I didn't really know what to expect going into the meeting, i mean i knew what we were going to be talking about but i find the prospect of opening up like that to someone new (and a bit of a psychatrist) hard.

I remeber sitting in the waiting room my heart was pounding about what was going to happen but the physican was really nice, asked me lots of questions that i knew the answers to in my head i knew what i wanted but the words wouldnt come out right... i must of looked and sounded like a gibbering wreck.

But ive been referred to the next psychatrist for a more in depth probing of my mind.. could be a few months wait tho. I realised that for most clinics there is a long wait and thats just testimony to how many people there are out there just like us.

Now theres a twist in the tale, the next day i got fired from work, now this is a hinderence to going full time as i now need to look for a new job and get job secure before i let them know. I only say this as noone out there is going to help me, not my parents , my friends are skint and i need to be 100% self sufficient.
I know people say on other youtube channels that its hard, and it is. Noone tells you about the little things that just make you, well you.

Style errors , and im sure we have all had them, looking back at some old photos i cringe at the thought of what i was wearing, but its all about growing and developing into the girl YOU! want to be.

Dont let anyone tell you diffrent..if you want to wear an alice band on your head.. Do it! As long as you feel right.

A plus side however to not working at the moment is living Full time, without the constrictions of work. Which i am LOOOVING!
Even taking those steps and if need be, pushing yourself out the door in more and more femm attire to say to the world (and more importantly to yourself) I am here, this is me finally. Dont like it move on.

And for those still worrying about these things then trust me when i say that yes there are time when someone looks at me and i fluff a little, but these people wont remeber you in 5 minutes time, heck ill be supprised if they remeber you 2 minutes later... this is the nature of humans... focus on yourself not on others.

As for my parents.. they still haven't really come round. I think my dad has however started looking at some of the links i sent him with information i hope he passes this information onto my mum as its wierd not being able to just pick up the phone to them.. this time i truley feel i am on my own... Wierd or what??

Also (and i know its a long shot) if theres any scottish girls should come across this i would love for you to get in touch and say hello. I did put an ad on gumtree but all i got was responses like:-

- Wots(sic) a tgirl
- Respectable businessman looking to meet you
- Hey baby, send me photos for hot nsa

Now any ad that starts - Just looking for friends i wouldnt think oh i know ill try and get in her panties!! Its just pathetic in my opinion :(

K
xx

Always look on the bright side of life :D

Do you ever look at your life and realise there's a pattern surrounding it?

I'll tell you what I mean..

Every year or so my life seems to go through a major good patch followed by a massive all in one drama bomb.
For example, I'll be doing ok at life, bills payed , got a job some spare cash. Home life is ok everything seems alright life is good.

.. This is when it all goes wrong..

Usually it starts at home .. Little thins with flat mates. Something will happen that starts a chain event .

Following this it goes to work. Things get wibbly to say the least.

Then someone might say let's have a big night out, book a holiday and have some fun.

Then I come back and your work try to tactically remove you. You start feeling uncomfortable in your own home .

This is where I am now .. But I know from being here before exactly what do do.. Things will be ok cause as this part of your life changes.. Sometimes for the best sometimes not exactly how your going...

But this is my advice to you Should you ever find yourself In this situation whatever happens .. You can always limit the damage and when the dust settles get back on track ..

Its not as hard as you think. Just stay calm and think it through..

K
Xx

A pleasant afternoon in the city

So yesterday was Glasgow Pride. And what a pride it was indeed.

My day didn't actually start till later on as i had to go into work for 4 hours in the morning so didn't start getting ready till 2.

My friend and her cousins who are currently over from South Africa came over and we had a little drink here whilst i got ready. Then to my surprise and joy they all chipped in to give me a hand :)

It was amazing being out and OUT at the same time. We started at the concert in George Square where there was some stalls, a bar and loads of people.. To my supprise here of all places i didn't bump into anyone i knew.

Then we moved onto the Merchant City. Well known for being Glasgows Gay area. We hit a few more bars before my South African comrades had to move on as they were staying miles out of town. So my and my friend decided to go grab a bite to eat.

This would be my first time dining out in public as myself. Ok so im not going to lie. I did get a few looks, but to be honest it was nothing i couldn't handle. Something about the day just helped ease any fears.

After this we did bump into someone i knew.. who has since tried to tag me in this photo on my facebook (this is why i am an advocate of tagline review) So anyone who didn't know .. now does.

I was a little worse for wear by then. My hair had come a little undone but gives you the chance to see a full pic of me.

As the night drew to a close though i found myself in a taxi home with a driver who didn't realise anything until i opened my mouth. Just another reason to keep working on my voice.

I loved pride was soo much fun.

My only issue was i didn't really make any new friends as such which is kinda what i really wanted to do.

I did make a contact at the concert stalls with a lovely girl called Rose who said that she was part of a group for Tgirls in the area and that she would get in touch.. So the future is bright there :)

As for today, spent most of it in the house. Tomorrow i am back at work a rather anticlimactic end to a week off (bar the 4 hours i had to do, but thats a whine for another day)

K
xxx

Taste the rainbow!

So i am a little too excited for my own good today. Had some lunch with a friend in town, did a little shopping and now im getting ready for tomorrow which is Glasgow Pride!!! Now i have never been to a pride event so i dont really know what to expect. All i know is that ill be out and about and i dont give a damm who i see or who knows it. Well, thats a little lie. I am guaranteed to bump into people i know from work but you know something? I dont care anymore. I took the biggest step in telling my parents after that everyone else pales in significance. They're just people i have to see for 8 hours a day 5 days a week, but they're at pride too. So we are all in it together and if they dont like it then they can get lost! Clothing wise, i have my dress, a cute little pair of ankle boots and enough accessories to open my own store. So im covered. I am hoping to meet some other Tgirls there though. Make some contacts and get out on the scene alot more. I cannot wait!!! Will update on Sunday whilst nursing a hopeful hangover and lots of greatness to tell K xxxx

Video Podcast

Basically its my vlog from the youtube channel. Thought i would post it here too.

Came out to my parents !!

So once again i find myself sitting infront of the blank space that is the new blog post screen and wondering why i am so poor at keeping it up.

The answer, ive been busy! Very busy.

I recently came out to my parents, thats the biggest news. How did it go?? Well honestly i dont know what to say. They were shocked (which came as a supprise to me as i was always convinced they knew)
My mother isn't talking to me at the moment.. but i hope she will come round.
My Dad called me not long after i sent the email to them and asked a few questions. I could hear the hurt in his voice he tried to hide it but i could tell in his voice.

To be honest im glad its out there i feel i can move on with becoming me now. If it means i loose them then i loose them. He said that they dont really agree with it but time is a healer and over time they will hopefully come round and accept it they same way i have.

Also i have been out more and more as myself... it still annoys me that i have to live as a guy at work, but the kind of place im in is definently not ready for that yet.. and being honest to myself neither am i. I want to look my best when i come out at work and thats not going to be for a while yet.. at least till im on the hormones.

Looks wise im getting more confident in my appearance, still not 100% happy, but with more practice and work i will get there.

Glasgow Pride is coming up this weekend and i intend to be 'out and proud'. I know i will meet people there that know me, which was also part of the reason why i choose this as the time to tell my parents. Rather it came from me than someone else.

Confidence in who we are and what we want in life will elate to all round happiness... theres a quote you can have for free

 And i know everyone loves a pic, so heres how i look at the moment :)

Out and about

So i have been out and about alot more recently, and loving every second of it :) not had much time to get online aswell as the kitten has a love of chewing on cables and managed to nibble at my phone cable alas no internet again!

I recorded a quick vid the other night before i went out you can see it below
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