So i've started working on making some videos to document my transition, a multimedia album for myself to look back on in years to come ... feel free to have a look here
Saturday, 19 May 2012
Friday, 18 May 2012
The Past , Present and Future (and finally some pics)
Ok, so its been a while since i actually had the chance to sit down and work out what on earth im doing with this blog..
In the past I was guilty of not updating, not interacting or being true to myself, and if you cant be true to yourself then how is anyone else going to take what you say seriously.
So i have made a promise to myself, to update this blog as often as i can.. even if its just a random musing and this promise i will keep to myself.
I think things will be easier with this now as i have moved house! Its gorgeous ^_^ I love my room and could spend all my days in here.. but that would be boring. Advantages of this room is i now have a desk that i can sit at and type/work on blog and just be more productive :)
Also i have a little dressing table area now where i can practice makeup and hair, which i didn't really have in my old house, this new house has a vibe about it that just makes you feel at ease.
Heres a couple of snaps:-
At the moment though life is mostly good. I recently sat down with my flatmates and told them the story, who i was and what i intend on doing with regards to transitioning and the future. One of the girls asked my loads of questions to which i duefully answered (oh in case you were unaware, i live with 2 girls). The other girl was ok, didn't really have much to say which i suppose is fair enough.
I also came out to an old friend of mine, who is dating my best friend now. He was a completely different kettle of fish. We were at a festival for my friends birthday and i had to tell him as he was going to wonder why i was wearing a dress and calling myself Katie..
He took it well at first, but as he got more drunk, he just got quite offensive with what he was saying.. i think his heart was in the right place .. just not his mouth tho lol :)
But coming out to these people and standing up for myself has helped me gain more strength.. Not only in who i am, but standing up to other people and not worrying as much about what other people think just focusing on myself and my own happieness.
Now this brings us to the future... The most exciting part.
I NOW HAVE AN APPOINTMENT DATE WITH THE LOCAL GENDER THERAPIST!!!!
Im over the moon, soo excited. Its been a year of waiting, but finally i will be on the yellow brick road to the oz of finally being in my true gender.. Its been many years coming, but im more at peace now i know its happening, im still nervous yeah, and i dont handle excitement or anticipation well (i still dont sleep properly on christmas eve)
So thats where im at, this is what the future now holds...
Stay tuned kids, cause this is where it gets exciting!!!
K
xxx
In the past I was guilty of not updating, not interacting or being true to myself, and if you cant be true to yourself then how is anyone else going to take what you say seriously.
So i have made a promise to myself, to update this blog as often as i can.. even if its just a random musing and this promise i will keep to myself.
I think things will be easier with this now as i have moved house! Its gorgeous ^_^ I love my room and could spend all my days in here.. but that would be boring. Advantages of this room is i now have a desk that i can sit at and type/work on blog and just be more productive :)
Also i have a little dressing table area now where i can practice makeup and hair, which i didn't really have in my old house, this new house has a vibe about it that just makes you feel at ease.
Heres a couple of snaps:-
At the moment though life is mostly good. I recently sat down with my flatmates and told them the story, who i was and what i intend on doing with regards to transitioning and the future. One of the girls asked my loads of questions to which i duefully answered (oh in case you were unaware, i live with 2 girls). The other girl was ok, didn't really have much to say which i suppose is fair enough.
I also came out to an old friend of mine, who is dating my best friend now. He was a completely different kettle of fish. We were at a festival for my friends birthday and i had to tell him as he was going to wonder why i was wearing a dress and calling myself Katie..
He took it well at first, but as he got more drunk, he just got quite offensive with what he was saying.. i think his heart was in the right place .. just not his mouth tho lol :)
But coming out to these people and standing up for myself has helped me gain more strength.. Not only in who i am, but standing up to other people and not worrying as much about what other people think just focusing on myself and my own happieness.
Now this brings us to the future... The most exciting part.
I NOW HAVE AN APPOINTMENT DATE WITH THE LOCAL GENDER THERAPIST!!!!
Im over the moon, soo excited. Its been a year of waiting, but finally i will be on the yellow brick road to the oz of finally being in my true gender.. Its been many years coming, but im more at peace now i know its happening, im still nervous yeah, and i dont handle excitement or anticipation well (i still dont sleep properly on christmas eve)
So thats where im at, this is what the future now holds...
Stay tuned kids, cause this is where it gets exciting!!!
K
xxx
Saturday, 5 May 2012
Im not dead!!
So i know i haven't been around much, or posting much but there has been alot of 'real life' things going on.
Im in the process of moving house, i have recently spent a lot of money on shopping and have started the 'real life expirience' in anticipation of my 1st appointment on 1st August to see a gender therapist (its been nearly a year waiting on the appointment)
Im over the moon... i have also come out to a few more people and all has been good.
I will update more in a couple of days when im settled..
K
xxx
Im in the process of moving house, i have recently spent a lot of money on shopping and have started the 'real life expirience' in anticipation of my 1st appointment on 1st August to see a gender therapist (its been nearly a year waiting on the appointment)
Im over the moon... i have also come out to a few more people and all has been good.
I will update more in a couple of days when im settled..
K
xxx
Saturday, 7 April 2012
Topicality
I stumbled across this artical online today about the Transgender Miss Universe contestant who was disqualified!!! Its worth reading... oh and as a bonus it comes with video!
http://www.buzzfeed.com/amyodell/video-the-transgender-miss-universe-contestant-sp
Katie
xx
http://www.buzzfeed.com/amyodell/video-the-transgender-miss-universe-contestant-sp
Katie
xx
Sunday, 1 April 2012
Is that my face?
Just a quick update (2 in a week OMG!! record) I've started up a youtube channel
Its a bit rubbish at the moment, but if your into that kind of thing then you can see me
Here
Katie
xx
Its a bit rubbish at the moment, but if your into that kind of thing then you can see me
Here
Katie
xx
Saturday, 31 March 2012
Parties, heels and Mascara! A coming out story!
Its been a week since i last updated and ALOT has happened!
Ill start with last Saturday. It was a friend of mines birthday. A night out on the town!! How Splendid, how marvelous joy of joys. Tonight was to be the night that Katie stepped out on the town to show off how amazing and wonderfull she was... what could possibly go wrong?
Saturday morning involved a little shopping trip. I had really wanted to get my hands on a sequin top but couldn't find the excact picture i had in my head but i did get something similar. Unbeknown to be that the material it was made from was an exeptionally good insulator :/
With my makeup and heels on, hair looking perfect. I was ready to hit the town with the girls... finally i could open up and have a girls night out!! YAY!
We got to the club and had a little dance... then things went a little west! The club was a bit smaller than most clubs.. infact i think i have seen bigger living rooms in my life. And it was hot and sweaty... and i wasn't wearing waterproof eyeliner.. So i ended up with panda face not long into the night... thus i shy-ed away from photographs... not a good feeling :(
I went from feeling amazing to ugly, and when we got back to the house after the night out, started feeling worse as i was sure one of the girls was making fun of me behind my back.
My friend assured me she wasn't (i trust her not to lie to me) but i was convinced i had heard her.. imagined it in my mind i suppose, but that scares me. I have had expiriences in the past where i was convinced people were talking about me (dont get me wrong people have, and i have heard them) but for me to imagine it makes me worry about my actuall state of mind at the moment.. am i becoming ill (and i dont mean physically :?)
I wonder if i am the only person who imagines things like this.. obviouslly not, but i wonder if other TGirls have had the same expirience.. This i would love to know
So a mixed feeling about last weekend, and it has played on my mind all week... Would it be easier to just give up on what i want? Conform to the normal and just live out my existance till its over?
NO! i dont!! Thats what i have done for the past 27 years of my life! Ignored whats on the inside! Ok maybe where i am isn't the best place to be starting transition socially ... but where is?? At least here i have friends nearby (and i use that term loosly at the moment)
Lots more to tell, but i shall keep that dear readers... for another post!
Katie
xx
P.S Hello to my first follower!!! LOVE having at least one person reading this self depricating unorganised blog.. Ill buy you a chocolate bar!
xxx
Ill start with last Saturday. It was a friend of mines birthday. A night out on the town!! How Splendid, how marvelous joy of joys. Tonight was to be the night that Katie stepped out on the town to show off how amazing and wonderfull she was... what could possibly go wrong?
Saturday morning involved a little shopping trip. I had really wanted to get my hands on a sequin top but couldn't find the excact picture i had in my head but i did get something similar. Unbeknown to be that the material it was made from was an exeptionally good insulator :/
With my makeup and heels on, hair looking perfect. I was ready to hit the town with the girls... finally i could open up and have a girls night out!! YAY!
We got to the club and had a little dance... then things went a little west! The club was a bit smaller than most clubs.. infact i think i have seen bigger living rooms in my life. And it was hot and sweaty... and i wasn't wearing waterproof eyeliner.. So i ended up with panda face not long into the night... thus i shy-ed away from photographs... not a good feeling :(
I went from feeling amazing to ugly, and when we got back to the house after the night out, started feeling worse as i was sure one of the girls was making fun of me behind my back.
My friend assured me she wasn't (i trust her not to lie to me) but i was convinced i had heard her.. imagined it in my mind i suppose, but that scares me. I have had expiriences in the past where i was convinced people were talking about me (dont get me wrong people have, and i have heard them) but for me to imagine it makes me worry about my actuall state of mind at the moment.. am i becoming ill (and i dont mean physically :?)
I wonder if i am the only person who imagines things like this.. obviouslly not, but i wonder if other TGirls have had the same expirience.. This i would love to know
So a mixed feeling about last weekend, and it has played on my mind all week... Would it be easier to just give up on what i want? Conform to the normal and just live out my existance till its over?
NO! i dont!! Thats what i have done for the past 27 years of my life! Ignored whats on the inside! Ok maybe where i am isn't the best place to be starting transition socially ... but where is?? At least here i have friends nearby (and i use that term loosly at the moment)
Lots more to tell, but i shall keep that dear readers... for another post!
Katie
xx
P.S Hello to my first follower!!! LOVE having at least one person reading this self depricating unorganised blog.. Ill buy you a chocolate bar!
xxx
Tuesday, 20 March 2012
The Secret Continues
The hardest thing about keeping a blog is looking at this blank space and starting to write. Usually i come up with inspiration when i am nowhere near a computer.. and this week has been no exception.
Now as i have stated in the past i am still part time.. keeping my main femme days to weekends due to work commitments.. but this weekend was diffrent. I had a friend come up from down south to stay with me, who is none the wiser to why i packed up my old life and fled on the first carrage out of there (when i say carrage i mean train) and it was horrible. Not seeing my friend, that was wonderfull. Im talking about having to have 'boy mode' activated and not being able to be myself.
Now i know what your saying... "but katie, haven't you done this for years" Well yes i have, thanks for asking mystery voice of the internet. Seeing as i have become more confident and self accepting of myself, i live for the weekend.. but this one is full of pictures of male me which i hate. I dont like how i look and dont get me started on hiding femme mannerisms. Even the little things like my nails (which didn't go unnoticed) i had to be aware of.
This fills me with a little bit of fear, as i know one day im going to come out to my parents, but in the meantime when i meet them i will have to try and hide things.. and my mum is like a hawk! she will suss me out :/
But the only way is up as the song goes..
I recieved an email this week from susansplace.. to which i had subbmitted this site to when i first set it up (and then forgot about the submission) So im there now.. on a link site... so people can actually find me *GULP*
That combined with my youtube channel to which i have just posted my 1st video.. Its terrible though. I had tried to edit it with the youtube video editor which has let me down :( So there i am trying to be all cool and 1st timey and i look like a bit of an idiot bobbing up and down like a rubber duck in the bath. But its there, its done and there is nothing i can do about it now
Ill put the link on here somewhere (if i can figure it out)
And i do promise to update more (got a new phone and laptop, so if i dont i have just wasted a lot of monies!!)
Katie
xxx
Now as i have stated in the past i am still part time.. keeping my main femme days to weekends due to work commitments.. but this weekend was diffrent. I had a friend come up from down south to stay with me, who is none the wiser to why i packed up my old life and fled on the first carrage out of there (when i say carrage i mean train) and it was horrible. Not seeing my friend, that was wonderfull. Im talking about having to have 'boy mode' activated and not being able to be myself.
Now i know what your saying... "but katie, haven't you done this for years" Well yes i have, thanks for asking mystery voice of the internet. Seeing as i have become more confident and self accepting of myself, i live for the weekend.. but this one is full of pictures of male me which i hate. I dont like how i look and dont get me started on hiding femme mannerisms. Even the little things like my nails (which didn't go unnoticed) i had to be aware of.
This fills me with a little bit of fear, as i know one day im going to come out to my parents, but in the meantime when i meet them i will have to try and hide things.. and my mum is like a hawk! she will suss me out :/
But the only way is up as the song goes..
I recieved an email this week from susansplace.. to which i had subbmitted this site to when i first set it up (and then forgot about the submission) So im there now.. on a link site... so people can actually find me *GULP*
That combined with my youtube channel to which i have just posted my 1st video.. Its terrible though. I had tried to edit it with the youtube video editor which has let me down :( So there i am trying to be all cool and 1st timey and i look like a bit of an idiot bobbing up and down like a rubber duck in the bath. But its there, its done and there is nothing i can do about it now
Ill put the link on here somewhere (if i can figure it out)
And i do promise to update more (got a new phone and laptop, so if i dont i have just wasted a lot of monies!!)
Katie
xxx
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